Pull my heart and pierce my skin.
A painful start,
I can’t defend.
Sparkling silver hoops stand ringed with flame,
I hop, leap, and jump through them,
Again, and again.
I yearn for the day which one closes on my finger,
Symbolizing eternal love, which forever will linger.
Basically, I’ll bend over backwards if you can give me security,
Or passion, intimacy, a love that’s enduring, see
I don’t know stability.
There isn’t very much that’s constant in my life.
But when I see you, I feel grounded,
I’ll be your husband or your wife,
I’ll be anything you want because you make me feel whole.
And I swear I’m trying to fight it but,
Your fire spreads to my soul,
Leaving only charred remains.
Then, seeps into my psyche,
Branding your initials in my brain.
I submit to your spirit,
Without protest, but with questions.
Will it lead to our first touch?
Can I lay on your breast and?
Touch your lips,
Then feel your limbs,
Reminding me that you’ll never leave.
These flimsy fantasies stab at my inner self,
And serve as my own reprieve.
They tell me my love is idealized,
As if it’s something I don’t realize.
This is not a healthy endeavor,
And I know I sound desperate, but I’ve never felt anything better.
That’s probably why I attract the most toxic of suitors,
Like birds of a feather.
I’m a pretty smart kid.
I know trouble when I see it,
It’d be healthier to spend my life resisting it,
But it’s so much easier to just be it.
It’s clear that I’m a fool.
It’s clear you don’t want me.
But logic and reason,
Won’t silence this longing.
As far as solutions,
I’m afraid I have none.
So I look to the sky,
The Moon and The Sun,
I see Stars and infinite space,
And just as I’m done,
Their radiance shines on your face,
You are their sum.